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         Conflict is on the menu tonight at the café La Chope. This evening, as on every Thursday night, psychologist Maud Lehanne is leading two of France's favorite pastimes, coffee drinking and the “talking cure”. Here they are learning to get in touch with their true feelings. It isn't always easy. They customers - some thirty Parisians who pay just under $2 (plus drinks) per session - care quick to intellectualize (高谈阔论)，slow to open up and connect. “You are forbidden to say ‘one feels,’ or ‘people think’,” Lehane told them. “Say ‘I think,’ ‘Think me’.”

A café society where no intellectualizing is allowed? It couldn’t seem more un-French. But Lehanne's psychology café is about more than knowing oneself: It's trying to help the city's troubled neighborhood cafes. Over the years, Parisian cafes have fallen victim to changes in the French lifestyle - longer working hours, a fast food boom and a younger generation's desire to spend more time at home. Dozens of new theme cafes appear to change the situation. Cafes focused around psychology, history, and engineering are catching on, filling tables well into the evening.

The city's psychology cafes, which offer great comfort, are among the most popular places. Middle-aged homemakers, retirees, and the unemployed come to such cafes to talk about love, anger, and dreams with a psychologist. And they come to Lehanne's group just to learn to say what they feel. “There's a strong need in Paris for communication,” says Maurice Frisch, a cafe La Chope regular who works as a religious instructor in a nearby church. “People have few real friends. And they need to open up.” Lehanne says she’d like to see psychology cafes all over France. “If people had normal lives, these cafes wouldn’t exist”, she says, “If life weren’t a battle, people wouldn’t need a special place just to speak.” But them, it wouldn’t be France.

    Men are spending more and more time in the kitchen encouraged by celebrity (名人) chefs like Gordon Ramsay and Jamie Oliver, according to a report from Oxford University.

    The effect of the celebrity role models, who have given cooking a more manly picture, has combined with a more general drive towards sexual equality and men now spend more than twice the amount of time preparing meals than they did in 1961.

    According to the research by Prof. Jonatahn Gershuny, who runs the Centre for Time Research at Oxford, men now spend more than half an hour a day cooking, up from just 12 minutes a day in 1961.

    Prof. Gershuny said, “The man in the kitchen is part of a much wider social trend. There has been 40 years of sexual equality, but there is another 40 years probably to come.”

    Women, who a generation ago spent nearly two hours a day cooking, now spend just one hour and seven minutes－a great fall, but they still spend far more time in the kitchen than men.

    Some experts have named these men in aprons as “Gastrosexuals (men using cooking skills to impress friends)”, who have been inspired to pick up a kitchen knife by the success of Ramsay, Oliver as well as other male celebrity chefs such as Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, Marco Pierre White and Keith Floyd.

    “I was married in 1974. When my father came to visit me a few weeks later, I was wearing an apron when I opened the door. He laughed,” said Prof. Gershuny. “That would never happen now.”

    Two-thirds of adults say that they come together to share at least three times a week, even if it is not necessarily around a kitchen or dining room table. Prof. Gershuny pointed out that the family meal was now rarely eaten by all of its members around a table－with many “family meals” in fact taken on the sofa in the sitting room, and shared by family members. “The family meal has changed a lot, and few of us eat－as I did when I was a child－at least two meals a day together as a family. But it has survived in a different format.”

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    A generation ago young people longed to become lawyers and doctors. Now they desire to be the next Oscar winner or famous pop star. But one university psychologist has pointed out that this is damaging our self-image and sense of self-worth. Over recent years people around the world have been suffering from an increasing fear of their own “insignificance”, according to Dr. Strenger of Tel Aviv University.

    He began a project on the phenomenon 10 years ago, after noticing an increase of fear in his own patients. His findings note hundreds of research projects that have recorded an unprecedented (前所未有) increase in levels of anxiety and depression. By using a wide-ranging framework Dr. Strenger thinks he has given the accurate cause. “The impact of the global entertainment network on the individual is to blame,” he said. “A new species—global man—is born and we are defined by our close connection to the global entertainment network, which has turned ranking and evaluating people according to wealth and fame into an obsession (狂热).”

    As humans we naturally measure ourselves by those around us, but now we live in a “global village” where we are comparing ourselves with the most “significant” people in the world - and finding ourselves not good enough. Today, even high achievers constantly fear that they are insignificant when they compare themselves to success stories in the media. “This creates highly unstable personality and an unstable society,” Dr. Strenger said.

    Dr. Strenger says people should stop measuring their achievement through the cultural fantasies of rich and famous people. The remedy (治疗方法) is a process that he calls “active self-acceptance” through a continuing search for self-knowledge through life. The fear of insignificance can only be overcome through strong individual and cultural identity over and above measurable achievement. “People should invest time and thought in their personal growth from different aspects in the same way they invest in medical studies and law school,” Dr. Strenger advises.

    Being seen in a fancy sports car or enjoying a beach holiday in a five-star hotel were once signs of having “made it”.

    But a new study suggested that having people think of you as constantly busy and overworked is now a far better way to show social status.

    According to Harvard University in the US, people are increasingly leaning toward the phenomenon of “humblebragging (谦虚自夸)”. This is when people make a seemingly modest statement that actually draws attention to something they want to brag (吹嘘) about.

    Phrases such as “I have no life” and “I desperately need a holiday” are now used to imply social standing, while ordering food and shopping online is the perfect way to prove to neighbors that you are simply too busy and important to go to the supermarket.

    “Movies, magazines, and popular TV shows often highlight (强调) the abundance (富足) of money and leisure time among the wealthy,” said Neeru Paharia, an assistant professor at Harvard University.

    “In recent years, featuring wealthy people relaxing by the pool or on a yacht (游艇), playing tennis or skiing and hunting are being replaced with advertisements featuring busy individuals who work long hours and have very limited leisure time,” he said. “Displaying (how busy you are at work) and a lack of leisure time operates as a visible signal of status in the eyes of others.”

    The researchers pointed out that the Wall Street Journal's 2016 advert campaign featured celebrities (名人) complaining about their busy lives, with the slogan (标语). “People who don't have time, make time to read the Wall Street Journal.”

    The report, which was published in the Journal of Consumer Research, also found that brands that marketed themselves as timesaving were becoming increasingly high-status, because of the people who used them.

    According to the authors, this trend of humblebragging is due to people's shit of focus-they now value “the preciousness und scarcity (稀缺) of individuals" more than “the preciousness and scarcity of goods”.

    “Busy individuals possess desirable characteristics, leading them to be viewed as scarce and in demand,” the authors concluded.

    Parents and kids today dress alike, listen to the same music, and are friends. Is this a good thing? Sometimes, when Mr. Ballmer and his 16-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, listen to rock music together and talk about interests both enjoy, such as pop culture, he remembers his more distant relationship with his parents when he was a teenager.

    “I would never have said to my mom, 'Hey, the new Weezer album is really great. How do you like it?'” says Ballmer. “There was just a complete gap in taste.”

    Music was not the only gulf. From clothing and hairstyles to activities and expectations, earlier generations of parents and children often appeared to move in separate orbits.

    Today, the generation gap has not disappeared, but it is getting narrow in many families. Conversations on subjects such as sex and drugs would not have taken place a generation ago. Now they are comfortable and common. And parent-child activities, from shopping to sports, involve a feeling of trust and friendship that can continue into adulthood.

    No wonder greeting cards today carry the message, “To my mother, my best friend.”

    But family experts warn that the new equality can also result in less respect for parents. “There's still a lot of strictness and authority on the part of parents out there, but there is a change happening,” says Kerrie, a psychology professor at Lebanon Valley College. “In the middle of that change, there is a lot of confusion among parents.”

    Family researchers offer a variety of reasons for these evolving roles and attitudes. They see the 1960s as a turning point. Great cultural changes led to more open communication and a more democratic process that encourages everyone to have a say.

    “My parents were on the 'before' side of that change, but today's parents, the 40-year-olds, were on the 'after' side,” explains Mr. Ballmer. “It's not something easily accomplished by parents these days, because life is more difficult to understand or deal with, but sharing interests does make it more fun to be a parent now.”

    Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg took out full-page ads in British and American newspapers on Sunday to apologize for the Cambridge Analytica scandal（丑闻）, admitting the quiz app built by a university researcher that leaked（泄漏）Facebook data of millions of people was a “betrayal of trust”.

    Since the scandal broke, the public has become more aware and concerned about how their online behavior may be used for purposes to which they have not agreed. It emphasizes the urgent need for better protection of personal information.

    To better protect personal data privacy（隐私）, targeted laws are needed. More effective cooperation should be carried out to protect people's privacy online as soon as possible.

    Countries, such as the United States and China in particular, which are global leaders in the use of big data should accelerate legislation（立法）on how it can be collected and for what purposes it can be used.

    At the same time, a closer watch should be kept on the world's major internet companies, such as Apple, Facebook, Amazon, Google, Microsoft, Alibaba, Tencent and Baidu to ensure they do not acquire unnecessary personal information or misuse the information they obtain. Despite the huge challenge such personal data protection may pose to their established profit-making models, these companies should know that the more powerful they are, the bigger responsibilities they shoulder.

    Strengthened efforts for personal privacy protection do not mean that big data must not be used, but that it is used appropriately. Big data is like a mountain or gold, and overemphasis on its security at the expense of its use will undoubtedly waste a valuable resource. The key problem is how to promote its use while guaranteeing people's privacy to be protected.

    Emmoni Lopez used to take dance lessons while her older brothers wrestled – but it turned out that she liked wrestling better.

    Her mom wasn't surprised when Lopez told her she liked wrestling more than dance, and three years after Lopez took up the sport, she enjoys watching her daughter wrestle. Still, when a coach first asked Lopez to join his program, her mom hesitated– she never thought her daughter would want to be a wrestler.

    Lopez is among a growing number of girls who are taking up wrestling. Officials with youth organizations in Chicago and the Illinois Kids Wrestling Federation (IKWF) said they've seen the number of girls participating in the sport take off in recent years.

In Lopez's program, about half of the students participating in the organization's free youth wrestling camp this summer are girls, coach Frankie Zepeda said.

    Many of the girls Zepeda sees become interested in wrestling through their brothers, he said.

    “They probably just learn to … fight back,” he said.

    One of those was Yamilet Aguirre. She took up wrestling because she was bored just watching her brother wrestle, she said.

    “I can have fun doing it,” she said. “And I can prove girls are just as strong as boys are.”

    Though girls have competed on high school wrestling teams in Illinois for years, coaches and female wrestlers said there weren't many participating a decade ago.

    “It's really picked up over the last few years,” said Jim Considine, president of the IKWF.

    Between the 2015-16 and 2017-18 seasons, the number of girls registered with IKWF grew from 363 to 503, and more of the organization's events are featuring a girls-only division. Girls and boys wrestle together during the season through IKWF, but there's a girls-only championship at the end of the year.

    And by adding female wrestling programs, colleges are giving girls and young women another option.

    “Female wrestling isn't something unacceptable anymore,” Considine said. “Things have happened so quickly. Ten years ago, you'd never have dreamed of doing this.”

    Have you ever run into a careless cell phone user on the street? Perhaps they were busy talking, texting or checking updates on We Chat without looking at what was going on around them. As the number of this new “species” of human has kept rising, they have been given a new name—phubbers (低头族).

    Recently, a cartoon created by students from China Central Academy of Fine Arts put this group of people under the spotlight. In the short film, phubbers with various social identities bury themselves in their phones, a doctor plays with his cell phone while letting his patient die, a pretty woman takes selfe in front of a car accident site, and a father loses his child without knowing about it while using his mobile phone, a chain of similar events eventually leads to a series of destruction.

    Although the ending sounds overstated, the damage phubbing can bring is real.

    Your health is the first to bear the consequence (后果) of it. “Constantly bending your head to check your cell phone could damage your neck,” Guangming Daily quoted doctors as saying. “The neck is like a rope that breaks after long-term stretching.” Also, staring at cell phones for long periods of time will damage your eyesight gradually, according to the report.

    But that's not all. Being a phubber could also damage your social skills and drive you away from your friends and family. At reunions with family or friends, many people tend to stick to their cell phones while others are chatting happily with each other and this creates a strange atmosphere, Qilu Evening News reported.

    It can also cost you your life. There have been lots of reports on phubbers who fell to their death, suffered accidents, and were robbed of their cell phones in broad daylight.

    College graduation brings both the satisfaction of academic achievement and the expectation of a well-paid job. But for 6, 000 graduates at San Jose State this year, there's uncertainty as they enter one of the worst job markets in decades. Ryan Stewart has a freshly-minted (新兴的) degree in religious studies, but no job prospects.

    "You look at everybody's parents and neighbours, and they're getting laid off and don't have jobs," said Stewart. "Then you look at the young people just coming into the workforce... it's just scary."

    When the class of 2003 entered college, the future never looked brighter. But in the four years they've been here, the world outside has changed dramatically.

    "Those were the exciting times, lots of dot-com opportunities, exploding offers, students getting top dollar with lots of benefits," said Cheryl Allmen-Vinnidge of the San Jose State Career Center. "Times have changed. It's a new market."

    Cheryl Allmen-Vinnidge ought to know. She runs the San Jose State Career Center, sort of a crossroads between college and the real world. Allmen-Vinnidge says students who do find jobs after college have done their homework.

    "The typical graduate who does have a job offer started working on it two years ago. They've postured (定位) themselves well during the summer. They've had several internships (实习)," she said. And they've majored in one of the few fields that are still hot, like chemical engineering, accounting, or nursing, where average starting salaries have actually increased over last year. Other popular fields (like information systems management, computer science, and political science) have seen big declines in starting salaries.

    Ryan Stewart (he had hoped to become a teacher) may just end up going back to school. "I'd like to teach college some day and that requires more schooling, which would be great in a bad economy," he said.

    To some students, a degree may not be a ticket to instant wealth. For now, they can only hope its value will increase over time.

    In China, chain restaurants especially the big multinational ones are cool. Going to Starbucks, for example, is a status symbol. It not only says, "I'm rich enough to buy this overpriced coffee, "but also, "I'm cosmopolitan (见多识广的) enough to be part of globalization."

    Where I come from in the UK, however, chains are neither fashionable nor gourmet (美食的). Chains are where you go on New Year's Day when nowhere else is open, or when you are 5 years old and your parents can't stand hearing, "I'm hungry!" any longer. In my own case (with regards to McDonald's), a chain is where you are taken on your first "date". Even at the age of 13, I knew to give the guy the "let's just be friends" phone call the next day.

    In the UK, independent cafes and restaurants are making a comeback on the fashion scene. Nowadays, a Londoner who says "let's meet for a coffee at Monmouth" (an independent café) is much cooler than one who says "let's go to Starbucks". Even if Monmouth's coffee is a little more expensive, there's a satisfaction in knowing your pounds aren't going straight to the big corporations.

    Of course, there are chain stores all over the UK; you can't go five minutes without spotting a Costa Coffee. But numbers do not add up to good taste.

    I do, however, have a confession (坦白). After moving to China I had moments when all the rice and Kung Pao Chicken became too much. I, too, have retreated to McDonald's.

Internet Time Tied to Teen Depression(抑郁) Symptoms

    Spending time online is normal behaviour for teenagers. But too much Internet use by teens —or too little, for that matter —might be related to depression, a new study finds.

    The findings, reported in the journal of Pediatrics, do not mean that the Internet is to blame. For one, teens in the study who spent no time online were also at increased risk of depression symptoms. Instead, the researchers say that both heavy Internet use, and non-use, could serve as signals that a teenager is having a hard time.

    For the study, Dr Pierre-Andre Michaud and his colleagues at the University of Lausanne, Switzerland, surveyed 7,200 individuals aged 16 to 20 about their Internet use.

    Those who were online more than two hours per day were considered "heavy" Internet users, while those online anywhere from several times per week to two hours per day were considered "regular" users.

    The teenagers also answered a number of health-related questions, including some standard questions about "depressive tendencies" that gauge (判定) how often a person feels sad or hopeless. Compared with regular Internet users, the study found, kids who were heavy users or non-users were more likely to be depressed or very depressed.

    Among male teens, heavy users and non-users were both around one-third more likely to have a high depression score, compared to "regular" users. Among girls, heavy Internet users had an 86 percent greater chance of depression, while non-users had a 46 percent greater likelihood compared to regular users.

    That was with factors like family income and any chronic health problems taken into account. Since teenagers typically go online to contact friends, the researchers guess that those who are never online may be more socially isolated.

    Annalise Emerick is getting ready to play a show in Nashville, Tennessee. It is something she does most nights in coffee houses, bars and other small spaces across the U.S. But tonight, Ms. Emerick will play for a few people in Kristina Shulz's home.

    Ms. Shulz has been holding such performances in her home for about four years. As many as 30 people have attended past shows. The crowd is usually a mix of family, friends and neighbors. But some strangers might show up, too. The performances are listed on house concert websites. "We've done rock, we've had blues, pop, folk, we'll have anything here," said Ms. Shulz.

    House concerts have become an important part of Annalise Emerick's earnings. "I can play in a bar for 100 dollars, but if I play in a house concert, there are 50 people there and they all pay $20, I'm having a great night. And they're all buying CDs. It's amazing," she said.

    Ms. Emerick says house concert audiences tend to make more supportive fans. They follow her career, buy her new records, and go to her shows when she is in town. "There's just a totally unique experience as opposed to playing in a coffee shop or a bar or something like that where people are usually there, but you don't always know if they're there for you."

    Charlie Dahan teaches music management courses at Middle Tennessee State University. He used to organize shows for artists like Annalise Emerick. "The downside for the artists is that most house concerts don't pay guarantees. So you have no idea how much money you're going to make. In fact, most house concerts by law are not allowed to charge admission (入场费). Most of them can only do a suggested donation," said Mr. Dahan.

    Many parents understandably want to ensure that their children will become financially successful. To that end, they push them to earn top grades and high scores so they can get into the best schools.

    In addition, the potential rewards of greatness, particularly in sports, have increased dramatically. That encourages some parents to pressure a child to become a professional athlete. As a cautionary(警告的) tale, Taylor, who works with young achievers and their parents, recommends the movie "Searching for Bobby Fischer." It illustrates(说明，阐明), he says, what can happen when parents become overly invested in their child's achievements and activities.

    Taylor also laments(为……悲痛) the pervasive(到处存在的) pop-culture messages, that emphasize success and happiness, particularly success. Popular culture, he notes, offers extremely narrow definitions of success: wealth, fame, power, status, and beauty. "Very few people can live up to that."

    Taylor uses sports as an example of good parental intentions gone awry(走歪，走错). When he was growing up in the 1950s, it would have been embarrassing for parents to attend sport spractice sessions. "We expected our kid world to be a kid world," he recalls. "We had zero expectations for parents to be observers and cheerleaders. A parent too much in evidence(引人注目) would have been embarrassing, as if we needed monitoring. We felt just as much loved as the current generation."

    By the late 1970s, parental attendance at games had become a must. "It's a sign that you're a good parent if you go to all the games," Taylor says. "The really good parents go to all the practices, too. You have to be there for your kid, cheering your kid, protecting your kid."

    Today, Taylor says, a good parent is defined as "somebody who is there for the kid's extracurricular(课外的) activities, rather than someone who is home cooking a nice meal."

    Increasingly, Americans are becoming their own doctors, by going online to diagnose their symptoms, order home health tests or medical devices, or even self-treat their illnesses with drugs from Internet pharmacies （药店）.Some avoid doctors because of the high cost of medical care, especially if they lack health insurance. Or they may stay away because they find it embarrassing to discuss their weight, smoking, alcohol consumption or couch potato habits. Patients may also fear what they might learn about their health, or they distrust physicians because of negative experiences in the past. But playing doctor can also be a deadly game.

    Every day, more than six million Americas turn to the Internet for medical answers—most of them aren't nearly sceptical enough of what they find. A 2002 survey by the Pew Internet & American life Project found that 72 percent of those surveyed believe all or most of what they read on health websites. They shouldn't look up " headache," and the chances of finding reliable and complete information, free from a motivation for commercial gain, are only one in ten, reports an April 2005 Brown Medical School study. Of the 169 websites the researchers rated, only 16 are scored as "high quality.” Recent studies have found faulty facts about all sorts of other disorders, causing one research team to warn that a large amount of incomplete, inaccurate and even dangerous information exists on the Internet.

    The problem is that most people don't know the safe way to surf the Web. "They use a search engine like Google, get 18 trillion choices and start clicking. But that's risky, because almost anybody can put up a site that looks authoritative (权威的)，so it's hard to know if what you're reading is reasonable or not,” says Dr. Sarah Bass from the National Cancer Institute.

Does it matter if a language dies out? The traditional answer is yes, because every language is a repository (智囊) of ideas and culture and represents a unique way of looking at the world. The planet only has about 7,000 languages; the extinction of even one decreases the sum total of human knowledge.

But in some cases, extinction can be seen in a more positive light. Take Al-Sayyid Bedouin Sign Language (ABSL) for example, restricted to about 1,000 users in a small Israeli village with a high level of born deafness, the language seems to be bound to die by the spread of Israeli sign language.

The natural reaction to the loss of ABSL is regret. It is a fascinating language that has kept linguists busy since it came to their attention around 15 years ago. But for the deaf villagers, Israeli sign language is an upgrade: it allows them to speak to tens of thousands of people rather than a few hundred, and enables them to work and marry outside the village. It is hard to see that as anything other than progress. Similarly, other endangered languages die out because people abandon them in favor of ones that serve their needs better.

Technology also softens the blow, as endangered languages can now be captured in detail — which also means they could eventually be brought back from the dead, much as the Hebrew language was in the 19th century. It is now the first language of 9 million people.

Linguists naturally condemn the loss of language much as conservationists (环保主义者) once mourned the loss of every single species. But they are moving towards acceptance that not all species can be saved, that invasive species are not always bad and that human-engineered ecosystems are not necessarily inferior to natural ones. Perhaps our attitudes to language extinction are due for a similar change.

Do you love food? Whether you're a foodie or someone who just likes eating, there is so much to choose from. We know that too much of the wrong kind of food can be bad for our health, but for some people having a food allergy means eating certain things can actually be harmful — and now, it seems, this is affecting more and more of us.

An allergy is caused by the immune system fighting substances in the environment, known as allergens(过敏原), which should be seen as harmless. Food allergies can cause life-threatening reactions, which means people have to spend their lives following strict dietary restrictions and worrying about the ingredients of everything they consume. Allergy specialist Dr Adam Fox says, "If you look back over, say, 30 or 40 years… there are much more allergic problems around now than there were."

We often hear about people having allergies to dairy products and to peanuts  Last year a young girl died after suffering a deadly allergic reaction from eating a baguette containing sesame seeds. This led to a call for better food-labelling laws.

Research has found that this problem is particularly affecting children. More and more of them are having allergic reactions to certain foodstuffs. Dr Alexandra Santos from King's College London says "food allergy now affects about 7 percent of children in the UK and 9 percent of those in Australia. Across Europe, 2 percent of adults have food allergies".

So what might be the cause? Dr Santos says the increase in allergies is not simply the effect of society becoming more aware of them and better at diagnosing them; it seems to be more environmental. She says possible factors are "pollution, dietary changes and less exposure to microbes (微生物), which change how our immune systems respond".

A lot of work is being done to try and find a cure, but that's not easy. So for now allergy sufferers must watch what they eat and they must rely on clear and accurate labelling.

About one in ten video game players shows signs of addictive behavior that could have negative effects on their family, friends and school work, according to a new study conducted in New York.

Researchers at Iowa State University(ISU) and the National Institute on Media and the Family found that some gamers show at least six symptoms of gambling addiction such as lying to family and friends about how much they play games, using the games to escape their problems and becoming restless when they stop playing.

They may also skip homework to play video games or spend too much time playing games and do poorly in school. "While the medical community currently does not recognize video game addiction as mental disorder, hopefully this study will be one of many that allow us to have an educated conversation on the positive and negative effects of video games," said Dr Douglas Gentile, an assistant professor of psychology at ISU.

Dr David Walsh, the president of the National Institute on Media and the Family which tries to reduce the harm of media on the health and development of children and families, said the findings are a wake-up call." This study gives everyone a better idea of the problem," he explained.

The researchers, who studied 1,178 American children and teenagers, aged 8 to 18, found some displayed at least 6 of 11 symptoms of pathological (病态的) gambling as stated by the American Psychiatric Association. Addicted gamers played video games 24 hours a week, twice as much as casual gamers. Some addicted gamers even steal to support their habit, according to the findings that will be published in the journal Psychological Science.

While video games can be fun and entertaining, some kids are getting trouble. "I continue to hear from families who are concerned about their kids' gaming habits. Not only do we need to focus on identifying the problem, but we need to find ways to help families prevent and treat gaming addiction.

A huge 42 percent of marriages in the UK end in divorce, the highest rate in Europe. What is happening in the UK to cause such a phenomenon? Many consider the family to be the basic building block of society. If marriages and families are falling apart, is the UK society also falling apart? Is the UK's cultural identity breaking down? The UK of today is one of the most multicultural countries on earth. There are exotic sights and sounds on the street corners of every British city. British cuisine is now one of the most diverse around. Everyone speaks with a different accent.

Is such diversity a good thing? Well, it makes the UK a very exciting place to live in. There are new ideas everywhere. There is great freedom to be who you want to be, and most people will not criticize you for who you are. Yet such freedom seems to come at a cost. Some British people regard ethnic minorities (少数民族) as coming to the UK to steal jobs. When the economy does badly, this feeling increases as unemployment rates rise. So, it could be argued that the breakdown of marriages in the UK is in some part because of the pressures put upon families by wider problems in British society. Many people become stressed when those problems arise, and that can then make their family life unhappy as well.

Another possible reason for the high divorce rate might be that marriage no longer has the same value or meaning for British people as it once did. Church attendance in the UK has been falling for the last 50 years, suggesting fewer people consider marriage a holy thing. Since 1991, there has been a drop of 50 percent in people getting married in church rather than a register office.

Then there is the financial side. In the past, married couples paid lower government taxes than single people. That tax incentive (激励) policy, which used to reduce a couples tax by up to 500 in a year, has now disappeared, making the cost to keep a marriage higher.

However, the 42 percent UK divorce rate isn't the highest rate in the past forty years! Meanwhile, some measures are being taken to strengthen marriage in the UK by the government.

Many people prefer eating out instead of cooking at home. A change appears to be taking place, though, and millennials (千禧一代） are leading the way. According to one survey, more young people are starting to cook at home for three basic reasons: They can save money, eat healthy and waste less food.

Popular TV chefs are also getting millennials excited about learning some basic cooking skills. Many millennials view cooking as a form of entertainment and self-expression. They proudly post pictures of their cooking creations on Facebook or Instagram, and invite friends over to share the cooking experience.

Many millennials have also found ways to avoid wasting food. After roasting a chicken, they put the leftover bones in their freezer instead of the garbage can. Later, they use the bones to make chicken soup, which is an important raw material in many dishes.

They also hate throwing out fruit that's too old. To avoid that situation, they bake ripe fruit like berries and bananas for 15 minutes at 175 degrees C. Then they freeze it overnight. After that, they place the fruit in plastic bags and store it their freezer for later use.

Now millennials only eat at restaurants that have excellent food-waste policies. These servants use every part of the vegetables they buy, including their stems and roots, in dishes. They also use beef, chicken and pork bones to make their own soup.

Millennials also reduce food waste by only buying what they require. Before going to a market, they write down what they need and don't buy anything else. They way they won't purchase more food than they can consume.

People love the “comeback kid”, the “down and out guy”, and any variety of defeated people whom we've seen fail, then manage to dust off their bootstraps (独自所作的努力) and take on life again. Everyone should get this chance in life, and they should get it over and over and over again. Everyone, that is, except our teenagers, right?

At least that is how parents, teachers, college admission officers, coaches, and others who spend time with adolescents have led all of us to believe. We have all bought the great lie that there is not only zero room for today's teenagers to fail academically, but any form of failure is a great embarrassment to everyone involved. And I do mean everyone.

Ever notice how quick parents are to share college acceptance letters, scholarships, SAT scores, and pretty much all the perfect resumes (简历) of their high schoolers for everyone to see on social media? Surely it makes moms and dads extremely proud. We all want to take credit for our teenager's great accomplishments, and while that is all well and good, it also means that when failure happens, we scatter like sheep when a wolf arrives, because failure on their part means failure on our part.

Adolescent brains do not have the bandwidth to process that failure is temporary, and that high school is but a small spot on their life map. Unfortunately, while we may talk that talk, our actions do not bolster it. Anyone who has been through the competitive college application and scholarship process knows this all too well, because there is no room for any form of failure. But this is wrong.

Tell your kids that failure doesn't define them. Tell them it's normal, natural, and expected. Tell them failure creates comeback stories, and the opportunity to rise even higher and better than before. And finally, tell them you don't worry that they will fail; you worry that they won't.